No sooner am I back before it is time for me to head off again. This weekend is an Artisan conference in Portsea, although thankfully, Ant will be at home taking care of the kids. However, I have struggled with the flu for the second half of this week since returning from Sydney and if the truth be known, this is the LAST thing I want to do right now. However, it is unavoidable and so I head into work later this afternoon to catch a bus with my workmates and head off down the coast for the weekend. Ant is already stressing, although i've pointed out to him that I will be back on Sunday afternoon, just in time to download Doctor Who.
The biggest blessing is coming home to OUR place. A month prior to going on break, Ant asked if friends of his could stay for a week to see about finding a new home. I had been told that they were staying with the partners parents who, not keen on the whole 'gay thing', had kicked them out and they had no where to go. I thought that a week shouldn't be too bad and agreed to it.
By midweek, you couldn't get them sprawled off the couch and Ant had a constant bitch fight just trying to watch what he wanted on TV. Ant had a gut feeling he had made a big mistake.
On the first Saturday, they got up early and left. I assumed they had gone house hunting, since Saturday was the best day for that. A few hours later, they returned home having spent the day down at the South Melbourne Markets buying new clothes and alcohol. The "plan" now was to sit in our back courtyard in new clothes and get pissed. Ant mentioned they had wanted to invite friends over but he put a stop to this - but you have to wonder what kind of people want to spend a weekend by sitting in a small, scruffy courtyard in new clothes and get pissed around midday? We expressed our disapproval and they promptly left for "friends that would party with them".
On Sunday night, it became abudantly clear that this wasn't for a week as they settled back in.
Then they became "ill". Ant came home one Tuesday to find dirty underwear spread across the loungeroom floor, one of them taking up the entire couch, toe nails had been cut on the coffee table along with luncheon meat - no cutting bench - just direct on the coffee table. The house smelled like an ashtray and there was literally no room except for these two (the partner had come home too because the other was ill) to take up. They then sat there, watching tv, and "hitting each other" Beavis and Butthead style. If I heard one more "Ouch!.... Ouch!... OUCH!..." I was going to f*cking kill one of them.
All the while, Ant was becoming more and more resentful. He had no space to call his own and felt like he didn't have a home. I asked he wanted me to talk to them about it but he insisted that he wanted to do it. To make matters worse, we had asked them to mind the cats while we were gone and housesit and now I wasn't sure I wanted them to do it on a couple of levels; firstly, just out of sheer lack of commitment and secondly, the whole experience had soured them staying with us. They were, in essence, incredible slobs. The spare bedroom was like ground zero - clothes everywhere - half eaten burgers in wrappers that had been sitting on the floor for days - glasses on the window ledge - no attempt to do any form of cleaning or dishes - no attempt to hide overpowering body oder - bad smoking smell - walking in to the room to find pieces of my vinyl spread across the room and in their wash basket. The list could go on and on... but it was pretty clear that, as far as they were concerned, there was next to no level of respect for Ant and my home.
The Saturday prior to us heading on break, still there (one of them had "told" Ant that they would be another week - neither had dared mention any of this to me at this point) and we finally receive news that they had got a home. We were relieved and it actually helped things get along a little more. With time not on our side and indecision aiding it, we asked if they would mind the kids. Ant was told that it was "the least they could do" for us letting them stay there, although they couldn't do it Sunday. I was fine with that, as long as the kids were covered from the Thursday that we left till our return Tuesday afternoon. Feeling suspicious though, I gave a spare set of keys to the guys upstairs and to Michael and Jimmy, asking if they could keep an eye on the place too.
Jimmy came over and called us on Friday. He said he had tidied up and done dishes as the place was a mess, and couldn't get over the absolutely disgusting state of the spare bedroom. Bottom line though - the kids were ok and really happy to see him.
Saturday night before we head out, on of the two 'housemates' calls us to tell us that they're "too tired" to continue running around and feeding the cats for us anymore and they won't be coming back now. Ant is extremely upset by the call, saying that it made him feel like he had put them out for doing it and that they didn't even say a thank you or ask how our trip was. In short, he felt used.
I let the guys upstairs and Michael and Jimmy know, who do a sterling job in keeping the kids happy while we're gone.
Upon return, Ant wants to send his friend an SMS to let him know his feelings on my phone (his is always out of credit). He shows me this message: "Hey it's Ant. Just want 2 know what was the problem on Sat night as u both made us feel that we put u out. We asked u more tan once if u can't do it let us know. We had 2 organise stuff from Sydney. It was very hard, plus u told us it was 4 a wk, but ended up a month. U didn't ask but we thought hey we'll b nice. Not even a thank u when u left on the phone Sat. U pushed our friendship 2 far." I told Ant that I thought it was a little over the top and perhaps a little scattered, but he wanted to send it so I told him it was his call.
However, I have to admit that I was surprised at the response we got: "We never once thought you were putting us out and we did say to Ant before you both left that we would not be able to feed the cats on Sunday as we had to go Geelong and had agreed to that. Also we kept asking if there were issues with us staying and we all we were told was no issues."
It felt like a kid answering back and I was rather surprised at the lack of maturity to the response (although felt the stimulus could've been a little better structured around the real point instead of being so emotionally driven).
I couldn't resist it - I sent back a reply: "If I (since Ant sent the lst message) can add my 2c and since I feel Ant's message is a little harsh, I can say I was personally not asked once about issues or about time staying. I think the real issue is more to do with the lack of respect shown to our home. Cigerette butts behind the couch and half eaten burgers on the floor is just poor form and, for both of us, very disappointing. Lawrence."
Again, the response: "We do not know how the burger got on the floor or the butts as they were put into the bin. All we can think of is the cats have gone into the bin. Believe what you will."
Feeling they were missing the point, one last attempt: "Look- bottom line is this - Ant is upset and if his friendship means that little to you that you can't do anything than throw it back on us, then clearly i've been trying to support your side for no reason. You scored accomodtion for a month. Your room was a pig sty. In that regards, we shouldn't have to say anything. I'm surprised your throwing it back at us, Sxxx."
No response.
The real point here is that it should've been raised earlier. They took us for a ride as far as I see it. They treated our home like crap and they got it for nothing. And then when we actually needed something from them, it was "too hard". But now we've come home and, despite finding cigerette butts behind the couch and a dirty shot glass full of cough mixture behind another, the kids are thrilled to see us and we can call our home our own again. Moral of the story - no matter how much your love your friends, there is a time, place and limit.
