Actually, I can't remember the last time I wrote an entry... but i'm suspecting it was a while back. And in that time... my word... A LOT has happened. In fact, there has been a few occasions where something has occured and i've thought, "This is going to be a bloody big blog when I get around to it..." And then I don't. And after a while, it all seems somewhat daunting. So, let's just do the Readers Digest version and say a lot has been happening lately. Some of it has been good. And some of it has been really bad. But at the end of the day, as I always say, i'd rather have the ups and downs that a seemingly boring routine existence.
The worst, well - Ant and I actually broke up for about three or four days there at one point. It was totally all over a misunderstanding, but it really did highlight so much more to me. For instance, it made me recognize that Ant is an emotionally driven individual, and being a logically driven individual, when Ant get's upset, there is literally no way to communicate with him. However, I think, with all things considered, the way we were able to work through it and talk means that we must be doing something right with this relationship, and it really has highlighted to both of us how much we truly love each other, care for each other, and can feel our world crumble without that other soul by our side.
It also made me think about the concept of reality... yes, I think we have established that it is not possible for me to go through any experience without coming out the other side with some philosophical take attached. In fact, as much as I know Ant sometimes feels frustrated by my fascination with philosophy, and feels that, if the conversation is 'heated', I talk to him like a 'patient', it has actually been my relationship with him that has heightened my understanding of philosophy even more. Even just in the sense that he operates and views the world in a totally different way to me means that I have to understand the level in which he sees things in order for me to work my head around it... which is, at the end of it all, a wonderful wonderful thing. But, anyway, back to me thinking about reality... and coming to the conclusion that reality is subjective, made up by our own personal interpretation via our senses. One persons take on any given situation might be vastly different to another persons take on that same situation, but it doesn't make their reality any less real. The fact is, perhaps many people's reality isn't as real as what we would like to all think, but just what our mind determines of the information it is given. Therefore, next time someone tells you to 'get real', let them know that it will only be as real as your senses allow them to be.
Besides, who is to say what is real and what isn't. I know a glass is a glass cause i've grown up being told this clear object that holds liquid is a glass. However, if I had not had that knowledge and just come across it, I wouldn't have known what the hell this thing was. But hey, that's a whole other thing...
All this has lead me to wanting to write again. I pulled up the half finished book I had on my computer called 'On Being' recently, and realised that David Knox was entirely right - it is a half baked dog's dinner of ideas and ramblings that really don't have any flow, consistency or ability to take a concept all the way through. I've started at scratch, and tend to feel the new version will be even less autobiographical, and more abstract - more based on feelings and not so much on experience - and probably still take several years for me to finish one half.
Work... achieved over 1000 hours in one week recently... and then did it again not more than a few weeks later. An all new benchmark for us, and something that i'm proud of.
Today... actually a bit ill - have a nasty chest cold and it kept me home from work today. To be honest, I found it very difficult to sleep last night, and so I was more exhausted this morning than anything.
Commonwealth Games start in Melbourne tomorrow but i'm feeling so apathetic about it. I know... how un-Melburnian of me. I've never been big on sporty things anyhow, although I recognize this is more than a sporty thing. However, I just can't seem to get excited about it at the moment, but with the opening ceremony tomorrow night, perhaps that might change.
Anyway, I should go and spend some time with my beautiful boyfriend. I feel that I sometimes don't give him enough attention, although he tells me not to be silly. But I do feel that every day, I should let him know how beautiful, attractive, and unique I find him, and how I couldn't imagine a day without him. A few years back, I wouldn't have understood... but the other night, when I was at home in bed ill and he was out, I was SO sad I couldn't be out cause I just wanted to see his big smiling face and look into his eyes and just share that joy with him. But anyway, I aim for there to be many more opportunities to do that to come.
