Just a quick one, as i'm sitting at work on my lunch break at the moment. I've decided to come back to work, although i've yet to decide if this is a good thing or not (I think it is a good thing). I have to admit that my mind is not totally with it still, mostly from the shock of everything and the lack of proper sleep. But I think getting me out of the house and getting back into it is ultimately the way to go, although i'm finding today a struggle.
If there is one good thing to have come out of all this, it is a reminder of how quickly things can change and how we should take nothing for granted. The sad thing is that I don't even remember the last time I caught up with Mark - I can't remember the location (probably at mum and dads), and I certainly don't remember the conversation. It has made me question how I take these meetings, although I certainly don't feel that I am any different to anyone else. It would be rather morbid to think of every conversation you have with someone potentially being the last, and yet that is always a possibility.
I keep swinging between being all right and being miserable about the loss of my brother. The funny thing is that I didn't really see him terribly much over the past few years, but it was almost like the knowledge that he was there and so there wasn't the urgency. They say a week is a long time in politics, but clearly, a week is also capable of enormous change. Little over a week ago, I could call Mark and talk on the phone, or go and visit him, and now, this isn't an option. I'm beginning to realise that sometimes a week is merely a portion of wasted opportunity, although I don't want to get too existential on you all.
Anyway, enough rambling for me today. Just wanted to get these thoughts that have occupied my head out for the morning so that I know they've been acknowledged, let them go and move on.
