This blog really does often reflect my sanity, or insanity as the case may be. Shall we rewind back to August and September last year? As levels of boredom and questions of self worth reached an all time high for me, the blog was a daily ritual. Hell, not just daily, but sometimes even the thing that occupied the day. Trapped in my call centre hell, all I did was answer phones and write my blog, and it gave me some bizarre sense of worth in amongst all the philosophical ranting and raving. And now, after a hectic few months at CD Fulfilment, and everything else that has filled my life, it becomes something that I sit there saying, "I really should write in my blog more..." I'm not even sure how many of my friends would still bother to occasionally log in (i'm not sure how many did, or even exactly why half the time, in the first place). But I write it because it still gives me some bizarre additional sense of worth, like a moment for me to reflect (I hate cliched words like that) on everything and to try to articulate some of the things that made some impact on my life.
For a while there, it felt like therapy. And then it felt like a diary. And I never really intended for it to be either. Even now i'm sitting here stressing about how I cover everything that has happened since the last entry, and since that didn't sufficiently cover up until that point, how I cover as far back as the beginning of my time at CDFA. "Curse it!", my mind thinks, "the story and flow will be interrupted if it doesn't appear consistent!!!" Is that delussions of granduer or something that relates more to the Capricorn need for chronological referencing? Who knows. But I guess it is one of my traits, and since this site is self indulgently about me, why not include it?
So, life... let me skim over the recent events... the big thing for this week would have to be my new job. Firstly, to a large extent, I did enjoy my time at CDFA. Ultimately, I got along with the majority of the team there, and found them to be great guys. I think part of me did compare them to the team I had at FMR, and anyone compared to that for me would suffer, so that is a shame. But realistically, it didn't pay well, and I was finding myself increasingly going backwards. The Wednesday before my birthday, I had gone over to Michael Broderick's place for dinner. I had wanted to catch up with him as, whenever I had an issue like this, I turned to him for advice and inspiration, and was really hoping to brainstorm some passive income ideas with him over dinner. What ended up happening was the realisation that there was a place at Artisan spare, and long story short, Michael ended up offering me the job. And even now, two days into it, let me tell you that I am glad I accepted it. While yesterday was a little draining, taking it all in, I found today just flew as I was really beginning to get into what I was doing, as it dawned on me more and more how everything worked. I think that in the next few weeks, as I begin to home in on the routine, the expectations, and just 'the role', I will have a great time at Artisan, and am increasingly thankful that Michael thought highly enough of me to offer the job. And let's face it, how can you beat walking to work in the morning?
Ant... we hit six months on Valentines day... SIX MONTHS! Ok, granted this is not long... but I can't help thinking back to even this time last year, and having Cath Haridy at FMR accuse me of having a fear of commitment. "I do not have a fear of commitment", I would scream, "I have a fear of committing to the wrong thing!" Which, of course, is still a fear of commitment. I'm not sure how I managed to find someone so sweet who thinks the world of me, but I can tell you now that I don't always think I deserve it. I'm terrible to go out with. I'm not terribly romantic, even when I try to be. And Ant just spends so much time and devotion on even the smallest things, it makes me feel truly lucky. I am working on building up his self confidence. He is just such a sweet man that it kills me to see people walking all over him, and I just keep pushing for him to stand up more for his rights, and to basically tell any wanker out there to sod off. It's hard to articulate too much about our relationship though as it is so 'daily' now that... it's just there.
Thinking, I have no real witty stories to tell at the moment. I've gained a bit of weight again, which doesn't thrill me. It hit home when I was trying to find something snazzy to wear for work yesterday morning and none of my usual jeans fit me. I can't afford to go to gym at the moment, so I guess i'll just have to live with it at the moment, try to eat better, and perhaps walk more. But hopefully actually eating breakfast now and walking to work will help in it's own small way.
Piano Bar, in some form, is coming back. It won't be at Chapel Off Chapel but at The Lido, opening Sunday, March 7th from 7pm till late. $10 entry. Looking forward to it!
Speaking of showtunes, went to see a fantastic film recently with David Knox titled 'Camp'. For anyone who loves showtunes, this is an absolute must see. Additionally, the soundtrack is just fantastic, featuring some great originals as well as a few little indie pop treats from yesteryear. It even features a special appearance from Sondheim, who gladly allowed his music to be used in the film. And you have to see their version of 'Ladies Who Lunch' to believe it!
Caspar is getting to be a big boy... I mean, he still isn't fully grown, but you can definitely tell he has grown since he was the litte ball of fluff that I brought home. He has collected a fair few nicknames from me since arriving here, including 'Little furry monster'... 'little mew-mew'... and 'little cheeky'... I think you can pick up the common thread here. Regardless, he is my little boy and I love him dearly, even if he does occasionally feel the need to attack my arse while i'm lying in bed, or just go into 'silly kitty' mood at a moments notice for no apparent reason. I do want to send out my sympathy to Kieran and Tim who recently lost their kitty, Kylie. Tim got Kylie when he was 13 years old, and now in his 30's, i'm sure the loss of something so treasured in his life will be sadly missed. She was such a beautiful little girl, and I truly know how devastating losing a pet can be. I guess the one consolation is that Kylie knew she was truly loved and that is the main thing.
Also pleased to have our David/Margeaux back home again. Although in Sydney, it seems a lot closer than Canada. And although I don't get to see David all that often even still, he is the type of person who you're always just glad to know because of the great attitude he carries with him. I can't wait for Andrew and Ant to meet him cause I know they'll be as crazy about him as I am.
Enough from me. It all feels 'good' lately, or at least on track, and if this whole blog had to be summed up in one line, that would be the one I would go for.
