Setting the scenario here... i'm sitting at work... answering painful phone calls... I even had one yesterday from a woman who accused us of lying because we claimed our account was unlimited and yet she was paying connect costs on her phone bill each month... I sat there trying to casually explain to her that the phone call connect costs were her costs and not part of the package and she kept arguing that we had lied on the application form... how do you argue with such stupidity? You can't really, can you... she ended up hanging up on me thankfully... anyway, back on track... answering painful phone calls when suddenly I feel my mobile happily vibrating in my pocket.
Turned out to be my friend Michael (yes, how many friends named Michael can one person have?)... this isn't Michael, as in Michael and Jimmy... or Micheal, as in Hussey... but another Michael yet again. This Michael, well known for his height and stylish good looks, runs his own successful recruitment agency for graphic designers and the like. He is one of the few friends I know that can actually state that they're going to do something, and then go right on ahead and do it. I've often found him rather inspiring, realising that nothing ventured is truly nothing gained.
Anyway, he was phoning to ask what I was doing that night.
"Nothing much... perhaps a bit of gym and to watch 'Mile High', but that's about it..."
"How would you like to go see Tony Bennett and Kd Lang?"
Stunned silence.
"Sure... how much?"
"No, nothing... free... do you want to come?"
Even more stunned silence and slight stuttering as I try to comprehend the offer.
"Er... well, yes... of course... I mean, I LOVE Kd Lang and Tony Bennett is a living legend..."
"Excellent, cause I totally forgot the concert was on until last night and I need someone to come with me."
"Sure. I'd love to come along!"
"Yeah, we've got great seats too..."
Now, not wanting to spoil the rest of the story, i'll leave the phone conversation there and skip ahead a bit...
The weather in Melbourne last night was truly disgusting. Cold, wet and miserable, we decided that I would drive in and park. Of course, it meant that everyone and their dog had exactly the same idea... and even worse was the fact that I didn't have time to go to the bank before hand and was totally out of cash. We rocked up at the stressed out man in the parking booth screaming, "Can we pay by credit card?" at him. He kindly let us in and told us to come back and see him about payment.
We found a spot... realised we had about one minute left before the show was due to start... and sprinted down to the booth to pay. We were officially running late. This wouldn't ordinarily be a problem but... oh yeah, that's right... I don't want to spoil that part just yet...
So, we race down to door one... find a small group of people standing out the front waiting to get in during a suitable break in the show (including someone I know... typical)... and then walk in... and we continue to walk down closer and closer and closer to the stage... and opps, another song starts and so we stand by the side again waiting until it finishes... and then continue to walk down closer and closer to the stage... till we hit the third row... and where should our seats be but... dead bang in the middle... no where near an ailse... with us needing to climb over all of the people already seated... in front of the entire Melbourne Concert Hall... yeah, it was a little bit embarrassing...
Even worse was to spin around to face the front and find Kd Lang standing there, smiling, saying, "Hey guys... you've missed the best songs already!" I just went bright red and started saying, "I'm so sorry, Kd..." It was just one of those surreal experiences to lock eyes with her and have me smiling my head off and have her suddenly break out into this huge smile back.
I had actually met Kd once before. It was during the promotional tour for her 'All You Can Eat' album, which is my absolute favourite of hers. Warners had over invited and filled out the corner bar of the Greville Street Bar. The queue to meet and have a picture taken with her was just out of control, and I was towards the end. The whole time in the queue, I was trying to think of something profound and witty to say to make some form of impact on this lesbian icon. And as the time dragged on and on, it became more of a challenge to the point that, by the time I got to meet her, I was clearly over it, and she was even moreso clearly over it.
"Nice jacket...", I said, in a pathetic attempt.
"Yeah...", she replied. "A few people have commented on that..."
I think my third row caper with Michael probably made more of an impact that me commenting on her jacket in retrospect... so I guess I have Michael to thank for that too.
Can I add that I have seen Kd in concert once before too. Warners kindly gave me two tickets to her 'Sexuality' tour. Can't remember the year... all I remember was that it was at The Palais in Melbourne (one of my favourite theatres) and that it was filled to the brim with women. I grabbed my favourite lesbian friend Liz along for the ride, and we agreed that if the show was too 'country', then we could descretly get up and leave. Well... by the end of the show, we were howling for more... and considered that, if we could find tickets, we would pay and go again the next night. I still remember her performing 'Crying'. I remember feeling the goosebumps on my arm just stand up immediately, and wondered if anyone else in the room was getting off on her performance as much as I was. At the closing cry of the song, the entire room just erupted and stood on their foot in a standing ovation that lasted for what seemed like minutes. I wondered if this was a rare occurance. Turned out the standing ovation happened every night. I could understand why.
The other thing that struck me about her performance that night was her sense of humour. She was remarkably funny, very approachable, extremely likeable, and very humble. You felt like she was actually giving the real her on stage... all very WYSIWYG... no bullshit. And I loved that. She made up laugh. She gave me tingles down my spine with her voice. She gave me one of the best concert experiences possible, which would explain our eagerness to get back to see her immediately... and thus why this opportunity to see her again could not be turned down...
Highlights of Kd's performance... of course, 'Crying' again... from the opening chords of the piano, that song just rips my heart out every time. She followed that up with a very slinky and sizzling version of 'Fever', definitely showing Madonna how to get it done right. 'Constant Craving' also appeared in the set... introduced as being a 'medley of her... hit.' And, of course, as soon as the table and ashtray appeared, I knew that 'Three Cigerettes In An Ashtray' was about to appear, and again; a remarkable performance. Her voice is just so fluid and smooth... it's like a dark chocolate.
Tony Bennett... my god, that man IS a legend. He just is so Vegas... so slick... so ratpack... so funny... describing himself as 'the Britney Spears of his day', he worked his way through so many numbers and just blew me away. I was disappointed that 'The Way You Look Tonight' didn't seem to make an appearance in the set since it is my favourite, regardless of if 'I Left My Heart In San Francisco' is his signature tune or not. Highlight from Tony had to be his blistering version of 'Maybe This Time' though...
When Tony and Kd performed together... my god... it was like a double chock cake... two forms of smooth chocolate melted together into something so unbelievable delicious, you immediately got the guilts for enjoying it so much.
I'm continuing the music fest this week by going to see Amiel perform tonight at The Evelyn. Not entirely sure why, but she is going on at midnight too... talk about bizarre time slots on a school night. But i've yet to see Amiel actually perform an entire show before, and I have so much time for her that I want to show my support and see how she is in translating one of my favourite albums of the year into a live show. I guess we'll see how tired I feel tomorrow...
