I am determined not to mention that company today, for fear that it may be recognized as being a new found hangup. Instead, I am going to talk about the joys of trying to find a new housemate. As many of you know, i've had various amounts of luck with housemates. And today, I might just dedicate some time to past ones...
I first moved out of home into a place with two guys named Scott and Ian. They had been partners, but had broken up after a fight over a Christmas tree decoration. They also had the annoying habit of fighting in Dutch, which used to annoy the crap out of me because I cannot speak Dutch. They were, to say the least, a very odd couple.
I initially got along very well with Scott, but as time moved on, he and I were just totally incompatiable. I was fresh out of home, and would go into an anxiety attack at the sight of a bill... and he, to put it bluntly, was just an arrogant arsehole. He was a 'actor' (apparently), and 'dancer' (one ambitious move saw him break his arm on stage) and I think the last thing we said between each other in the final weeks we lived together was me asking him if he knew where the can opener was and he saying no.
He brought in a woman I met as Audacity, but who I simply started to refer to as Audi (even to this day). Now, there are people that come into your life and make such an impact for being there that years later, you can still cite them for various influences. Audi was very much one of those people. The first time I met her, Scott took me over to her place and we walked in to find her lying on a foldout bed in the loungeroom watching 'To Kill a Mockingbird'. Scott introduced me. She looked over her shoulder, said 'Hi' and then insisted we come and lay down next to her and watch the film. She was shy but confrontational. She was strong and yet unsure. She would contradict herself and yet always insist she was right (I loved her for that actually...) She was definitely unique, and that's one trait I've come to realise is a pre-requisite for anyone wishing to befriend me.
Anyway, we (being Audi, Scott and myself) lived together at 67 Charles St in Prahran. Little known fact is that I made a wrong turn into this one way street the first time I ever went out on 'the scene'... an omen or just stupidity... I like to think both. When things between Scott and I became a little too stressed to continue, and the next door place became available, Audi and I moved next door to 65 Charles St. The painful girls that had lived next door had finally moved out... something we were thrilled about as they kept having this habit of singing 'I Will Always Love You' at high volume off key. I can't remember who we Audi and I initially moved in with... it may have been Catholic-o-holic Darren, unique-dancer Jeff, or 'The sun will come out tomorrow' Gracie/Graham. All three were interesting in their own way but definitely not ones i'm going to spend too much time on here except for the brief mention...
Tracey/Richard moved in somewhere during this period. Tracey was a large, loud, animated drag queen, whose alter-ego Richard was a fragile and broken man. However, there was something of a soulmate relationship between Richard and I, and during the peak of our friendship, it was sometimes like Trace and I were two halves of the same person... which must've been absolute hell for people around us. Trace did have a lot of issues though, and while I won't go into full details now, I will say that it all ended rather tragically.
At this point enters another person who would become increasingly influential, being Lyle. Audi and I were looking for a new housemate. A friend of mine Kieran had mentioned this new guy who had started to volunteer at the VAC named Lyle, who had said over a post-meeting dinner that he was looking for somewhere new to live. Kieran told him about me, and he came over to check out the place. When I opened the front door, I was greeted by this guy in a suit who looked uber professional. The place was, to put it mildly, an absolute dump. Lyle came in, looked around the house, picking out every conceivable flaw in the place (all of which were 100% accurate). At the end of the inspection, he turned around and asked when he could move in and I said that he could begin the next day.
Now to put this into perspective, Audi and I were both going through a lot of changes at this stage, and her and my friendship was perhaps going through a bit of a rough patch. Lyle and Audi did not get along, and when the opportunity came about to move on with Lyle, I decided to accept it. Over the following years though, Audi and I did live together on a few more occasions and we're still what I would consider close friends (how can you not be friends with someone who has played a major role in your life?) I think the reason why Lyle and my friendship grew to be so strong was that we were housemates first, and the friendship came after that... even if his favourite artist is Kate Bush and his most hated artist is one of my favourites, U2.
We're moving mid-90's now... Hamish was a totally wrong housemate... meant well but somehow managed to push all the buttons that frustrated the crap out of me... Andrew - possibly one of the best housemates anyone could hope for but sadly driven away by Hamish (I would joke that the only reason he got away was because I didn't think of it first)... and then with Lyle again at the two bedroom place on Malvern Rd where I continue to live now.
That lasted a few years before living together became a bit of a rut. He was obsessed with his playstation and being a couch patato. I was obsessed with the internet and listening to music. He complained that I was always on the net. I complained that he was always playing Diablo. He tried to claim he only ever did it cause I was always on the net but basically, I don't believe that... mostly cause whenever I came into the lounge room to be social, he would still sit there playing Diablo. But this was the seeds of how I spend most of my time now... in my room, listening to music and cruising the net... i'm such a funky nerd.
When Lyle left, moving on to 'save money' (it saved our friendship so i'm not bitter), Matt (version 1) moved in. People actually were placing bets to see how long Matt and I would live together, which we found amusing. We proved them all wrong, by finding that not only did we live together well, but that living together seemed to improve our friendship. Matt was actually very similar to me, spending a lot of his time to himself, but spending some quality time together. We would often have Music Max in the background playing retro, and whenever some classic came on that we both liked, we would race into the loungeroom together at the same time and get all nostalgic. Matt ended up moving back to his mother before relocating to Sydney for work and personal reasons.
Next up... Brendan (yes, I've gone through a lot!)... Bren stayed on for another year or so before, like Matt, relocating to Sydney for work. I seemed to be suffering the curse of Sydney relocation. Bren's common traits - coming home at all hours of the morning absolutely trashed and then putting on either country music or showtunes and singing them at the top of his voice. This, admittedly, is a rather unique trait. He also used to think he could fool people when they requested the volume being turned down by walking over to the dial and pretending to turn it down... er... hello... volume is something you hear and not see, Bren... best way to describe Bren - naughty boy.
And now we're getting close to up to date... the last one... Matt (version 2)... who I thought was meant to be the one to move in due to a strange sequence of events. Leading up to my 30th birthday, I started thinking of people from my past that I wanted to invite. One of those people was a gentleman by the name of Charles Cassar. Charles grew up around the same area I did, and was a familiar face during my coming out period. Literally hours after thinking that I wanted to invite Charles, I ran into him down Commercial Rd and invited him along. I didn't realise until the night of the party that he was actually only in the country for two weeks and was flying out the following day, which made running into him and him turning up even more special. One of the people he brought along with him was Matt, who I ran into a few weeks later and, during conversation, discovered that he was looking for somewhere new to live, ideally around Prahran. It seemed all too obvious. And before long, he had moved in. However, he decided to leave his job not too long after, and with that decision, moved back to his mother's place in Frankston.
So that brings me up to date... looking for a new housemate, due to recent pay cuts (or else I would stay there by myself). I've had a few nibbles... but no one really taking the bite. I have someone named Andrew coming over tonight to check out the place. I've actually known Andrew for a while, as he works for a company called Stage & Screen who I used to deal with to arrange travel and accomodation for my artists when I was with that company. He has an amazing wit about him, incredibly funny, and I generally have a really good vibe about him as a person. To wrap up this blog, I may as well cut and paste the description that I sent him today of the place, as it showcases my ability to write complete and utter bullshit at the drop of a hat...
So... Pro's (again, no jokes)... well, location location location, as real estate agents like to proclaim. It's only minutes away from the glorious hustle and bustle of exciting downtown Chapel St, complete with cafes, world class shopping and enthusiastic nightclub/pub strip. Hell, the location is 24 hour stimulation if you require it. There is a laundry directly across the road, along with Thai, Indian, Chinese, and Japanese restuarants (the Summer Rolls that the Thai place does are amazing!). There is a bottle shop directly across the road that will cater to all your self abuse needs. In terms of the building itself, it has one communal loungeroom, complete with a small but useful television, dvd, vhs, and even a dvd burner (oh-er!)... the kitchen is, again, small but useable (ideal for someone who is rarely home and eats out a lot... like I did with my previous job)... the bedroom is at the back of the house (away from the slightly harsher traffic news of Malvern Rd)... and there is additional space in the makeshift study for things (whatever things you might have)... and best of all, you get to live with this lovely man who is really kind and fun and rarely grumpy but when he is, goes to his room and doesn't come out until he thinks about what he has done.
Cons... I know one guy named Con... he's really lovely too... but I guess he isn't relevant to the house... ok, brutal honesty time... the place isn't a palace but then some people I know think it is charming. I need some new throw rugs for the couch... but in terms of 'a place', it serves its purpose well. It does need some minor repairs done but i'm going to ask the landlord about them this week since I want someone to actually move in (I can live with them but I think it's only fair I get things repaired for someone else). Hopefully these minor things haven't frightened you off. Remember... lovely man who is really kind, fun, not grumpy, la la la.
Does this entice you? Feel excited at the winds of change sweeping you through to a new and diverse chapter of your life... complete with a lovely man who is really kind, fun, not grumpy... blah blah blah...?
